Thursday, April 11, 2024

Poseidon Quickies: "F"ederal "B"eefcake "I"nspection

You might recall a not-too-distant post about the many guest stars on early seasons of Quinn Martin's TV series The F.B.I. I've continued to watch the show periodically, which has a tendency to put forth a very buttoned-up quality. I was pleased, though, when season four came around and there were dashes of unexpected, but welcome, examples of the male form. I don't mean to sound desperate about it or anything. I just like to document such occasions and bring them to light for anyone who may want to take a look for themselves. 

Exhibit A occurs in the season four, episode two episode "Out of Control." (Link is to Tubi) In it, oil driller James Franciscus is being investigated by Efrem Zimbalist Jr and his cohorts following a nearby murder.

Blond, toothy, tan Franciscus is a longtime favorite of ours ever since he trotted through Beneath the Planet of the Apes in a skimpy animal skin. (That would come two years after this in 1970.) For more about loincloths in general, including his, see this old post.

Around this period, folks were more used to seeing him in a suit and tie from his role as Mr. Novak (1963-65.) His appearance on The F.B.I. ramped things up in that it was in color, he wore no tie, was coated down with sweat and...

He is introduced in the episode decked out in oil-rigger fantasy drag!

Sporting a jaunty kerchief, steel helmet and (for then) low-slung jeans with work boots, he would be welcome on virtually any pipeline.

A set of very heavy gloves with thick cuffs completes the look.


He looks divine, striding across the oil field. Why, even dogs can't resist the temptation to scamper up and grab a quick pet!

For a meeting with fellow guest star Simon Scott, he's shown strutting in front of a phallic oil drill as he makes his way to the car. 

Check those gloves out.

With apologies (not really) to Ryan Gosling, this is the sort of Ken that I recall.


The sequence is nearly 4-minutes long and he was looking pretty humpy during all of it.

...Whether coming or going.

I'd have done the Scott guest role for nothing, just to have Franciscus put his arms on me! Ha ha!

Season four, episode five "Death of a Fixer," has Zimbalist determining that he needs to cozy up to the girlfriend of a mobster in order to solve a crime. So he heads to a tennis resort.

Things get off to a swingin' start as we first spy the resort. A total hunk comes sauntering quickly across the screen with a racket under his arm.

As he nears the camera, we realize that this is no ordinary extra, but a burgeoning bit player who we would later come to know a little better.

It's Mark Russell, who played a helpful military man in Airport (1970) - as dissected in a post about all the passengers on board - and who later enjoyed a regular supporting part on Kojak.

Russell scurries by and the camera stops on this man. Any clue?

Does this help any? The man in trunks follows Russell to the nearby tennis court fence.

Sensing that Russell might have set his sites on a game with the aforementioned mob girlfriend, the man in sunglasses tells him to get lost.

And now I will inform those who don't yet know that the man is played by Daniel J. Travanti.

Billed early on as Dan Travanty, he later faced down a serious battle with alcoholism, resulting in a new approach, new name and more successful career.

As part of a prime-time super-couple along with Veronica Hamel, Travanti took home two Emmys for Hill St. Blues.

At this stage, though, he was still attempting to get a major foothold as an actor. He worked on many 1960s TV shows and, in fact, did three more eps of The F.B.I. after this one.

As you can see, he was allowed a bit of chest hair, but nothing like he would later display. ('Course, he made up for it with the proliferation on his head!)

You may have already taken notice of Jessica Walter as the girlfriend Zimbalist is trying to get closer to. Travanti does whatever he can to prevent this.

There's just something about those bygone Coppertone days of tan, fit bodies frolicking around an aqua-blue swimming pool.

In a rare occurrence indeed, we have Zimbalist roaming about the resort in a trim pair of trunks.

His suit comes up over the navel (as does Walter's two-piece.)

His is not my preferred type of physique, but I know it appeals to many others' so I'm happy to share as much of it as I can.

The extra passing behind Walter here? Now that's my man!

Anyway, Zimbalist is called away to the phone, allowing Travanti to swoop in and interfere again. (Note his "daring" trunks, which are below the belly button.)

Zimablist returns to the table to find not only Walter gone, but also...

...his camera has gone missing.

Somehow it's wound up at the bottom of the pool! Zimbalist tells Travanti to go and retrieve it. Travanti tells him to get it himself.

With that, the two begin to scuffle and wind up in the water!

Now we're treated to a rather lengthy underwater battle between the men.

They wind up in positions that Esther Williams never dreamed of!

Was this pool 69" deep? LOL There may have been stuntmen involved in part of this, though I couldn't detect that if there were. But there's no question that the gents took part in a significant portion of the tête-à-tête.

See what I mean?


Soon all the action begins to draw a crowd. I loved the chest on this extra in the center. And dig the black hair on the woman in tangerine!

In time, even Russell reappears (at far right.)

The battle beneath the surface rages on.

Travanti appears to be losing (or is it winning in a situation such as this?!)

Finally, it's all over.

Zimbalist emerges victorious.

While Travanti is left on his belly. (BTW, I LOVE the man's sandals at far right. My dad's friends sometimes wore these and I would be transfixed.)

Years later, a far more "ripped" Travanti would appear on TV in far less during the legendary and epic Battle of the Network Stars athletic event specials.

Till next time, The End!